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10 tips for successful on-line
dating experiences
By Steve Nakamoto
This summer I addressed a singles convention
on the subject of smart online dating. Here
are some of the important distinctions that
I shared:
1. START OFF AND STAY FRESH:
Don't carry any emotional baggage into this
new field of dating. That means the elimination
of bitterness, anger, frustration, and any
other negative emotions that can seriouslyhamper
any chance for success. Take a break from
the action when you start losing your freshness.
A suggestion is to do this with a good friend
and make it fun.
2. SELECT A
GOOD PAYING SITE: Use a
popular pay site like Udate, WebPersonals,
Kiss.com, Match.com, or Matchmaker.com Avoidthe
free personal ads which can be visited by
teenagers, married people, and stalkers.
The cost of the program is worth screening
out the freeloaders.
3. WRITE A GOOD AD COPY WITH A GREAT
PHOTO: Have a friend write a
good description of you that is short, sweet
and catchy. Don't give out too many details
or personal information. Make sure that
you have a flattering photo that is recent
of you alone and with a spirited smile.
Take several photos and have a friend select
the best one.
4. FOLLOW A SAFE INTERNET
DATING PATTERN: Limit yourself
to 3 email correspondences per person. Make
that the woman makes the phone call. Meet
in a public place for coffee in the midday
for about an hour. Have something scheduled
afterwards so that you can't get talked
into staying around longer. If you feel
uncomfortable, bring along a friend and
tell the person you're going to meet that
they have a bonus chance to meet two people
instead of one. If you get through this
introduction, then you can proceed with
a normal dating pattern leaving the Internet
part behind.
5. GET CLEAR
ON WHAT YOU DON'T WANT:
Weed out the losers or potentially dangerous
people. Trust your intuition here. If the
person appears strange in any way, be sure
to pass on that chance. You may be wrong
with this person, but you'll be safer in
the longer run. Some clues of strange behavior
are: too many e-mails too soon, sexually
explicit language, and too many hidden secrets
or things that seem contradictory (like
what a married person might do to cover
up).
6. KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT YOU DO WANT: Have a
good idea what you like in a partner in
terms of character, heart, compatibility
and personality. Don't be entirely focused
on what you don't want or else you'll lose
the magic that you'll need for love and
romance to happen. Remember, that is why
you're doing this in the first place.
7. DON'T SPOOK
THEM AWAY EARLY: If you
find someone with excellent potential avoid
spooking them away by not asking too many
questions, being too much too soon, or appearing
desperate or needy.
8. HOOK THEM
GOOD: In order to hook 'em
good you must be able to get a man off-guard
and to show him your best. You can get his
guard down by saying that you're only trying
this on-line dating for a month, that's
its no big deal, that it was a friend's
idea, or your friends think you're crazy
to try it. The idea is to convince the other
person that you're a normal person. Be sure
that you don't interview the other person
like a job interview and that you respond
to questions by sharing tidbits and having
some fun. Spend your energies on getting
things comfortable, rather
than on trying to convince the other person
that you're so wonderful.
9. TAKE AN
ENLIGHTENED APPROACH: Realize
that on-line dating is nothing more than
a different type of introduction. Give it
a try for a limited time and make it a small
part of your overall social plan. Do this
with a friend and share the adventure together.
Remember to be a compassionate human being
and don't ruin the spirit that nurtures
love. And while this may appear like a numbers
game (the law of averages), love doesn't
really work that way. A bad strategy doesn't
work no matter how many times you try it.
10. HAVE FUN
OR DON'T DO IT AT ALL: Make
this activity fun or don't participate at
all. As soon as this becomes a hassle or
disappointment, stop doing it and wait for
another time to try again. Internet dating
does work, but whether it works for depends
on smart decisions, a
great attitude, and a little bit of luck.
The Bottom
Line : On-line dating
is nothing more than an introduction. Play
it smart, safe and fun. You never know if
you'll get lucky. So keep your attitude
fresh and remember that it only take one.
Note: On-line dating is a good option for
people who are very much on the shy side
and/or enjoy spending their spare time on
the Internet.
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