The 6 Fatal Mistakes Of Online Dating
10 tips for successful on-line dating experiences
Avoiding online "Pseudo-Intimacy"

10 tips for successful on-line dating experiences

By Steve Nakamoto

This summer I addressed a singles convention on the subject of smart online dating. Here are some of the important distinctions that I shared:

Don't carry any emotional baggage into this new field of dating. That means the elimination of bitterness, anger, frustration, and any other negative emotions that can seriouslyhamper any chance for success. Take a break from the action when you start losing your freshness. A suggestion is to do this with a good friend and make it fun.

2. SELECT A GOOD PAYING SITE: Use a popular pay site like Udate, WebPersonals,,, or Avoidthe free personal ads which can be visited by teenagers, married people, and stalkers. The cost of the program is worth screening out the freeloaders.

Have a friend write a good description of you that is short, sweet and catchy. Don't give out too many details or personal information. Make sure that you have a flattering photo that is recent of you alone and with a spirited smile. Take several photos and have a friend select the best one.

Limit yourself to 3 email correspondences per person. Make that the woman makes the phone call. Meet in a public place for coffee in the midday for about an hour. Have something scheduled afterwards so that you can't get talked into staying around longer. If you feel uncomfortable, bring along a friend and tell the person you're going to meet that they have a bonus chance to meet two people instead of one. If you get through this introduction, then you can proceed with a normal dating pattern leaving the Internet part behind.

5. GET CLEAR ON WHAT YOU DON'T WANT: Weed out the losers or potentially dangerous people. Trust your intuition here. If the person appears strange in any way, be sure to pass on that chance. You may be wrong with this person, but you'll be safer in the longer run. Some clues of strange behavior are: too many e-mails too soon, sexually explicit language, and too many hidden secrets or things that seem contradictory (like what a married person might do to cover up).

6. KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU DO WANT: Have a good idea what you like in a partner in terms of character, heart, compatibility and personality. Don't be entirely focused on what you don't want or else you'll lose the magic that you'll need for love and romance to happen. Remember, that is why you're doing this in the first place.

7. DON'T SPOOK THEM AWAY EARLY: If you find someone with excellent potential avoid spooking them away by not asking too many questions, being too much too soon, or appearing desperate or needy.

8. HOOK THEM GOOD: In order to hook 'em good you must be able to get a man off-guard and to show him your best. You can get his guard down by saying that you're only trying this on-line dating for a month, that's its no big deal, that it was a friend's idea, or your friends think you're crazy to try it. The idea is to convince the other person that you're a normal person. Be sure that you don't interview the other person like a job interview and that you respond to questions by sharing tidbits and having some fun. Spend your energies on getting things comfortable, rather
than on trying to convince the other person that you're so wonderful.

9. TAKE AN ENLIGHTENED APPROACH: Realize that on-line dating is nothing more than a different type of introduction. Give it a try for a limited time and make it a small part of your overall social plan. Do this with a friend and share the adventure together. Remember to be a compassionate human being and don't ruin the spirit that nurtures love. And while this may appear like a numbers game (the law of averages), love doesn't really work that way. A bad strategy doesn't work no matter how many times you try it.

10. HAVE FUN OR DON'T DO IT AT ALL: Make this activity fun or don't participate at all. As soon as this becomes a hassle or disappointment, stop doing it and wait for another time to try again. Internet dating does work, but whether it works for depends on smart decisions, a
great attitude, and a little bit of luck.

The Bottom Line : On-line dating is nothing more than an introduction. Play it smart, safe and fun. You never know if you'll get lucky. So keep your attitude fresh and remember that it only take one.
Note: On-line dating is a good option for people who are very much on the shy side and/or enjoy spending their spare time on the Internet.